~FLIGHT ATTENDANT’S HAIR GOES ON STRIKE

Further complicating the airline industry’s woes – along with Northwest’s Mechanic’s strike, soaring fuel costs, bankruptcy filings and wage disputes- The Flight Attendant’s Hair Union went on strike Tuesday afternoon.

Citing excessive perming and highlighting, along with persistent and “unattractive” crimping as their main grievances, the tired heads of hair walked off the job at around 3pm (EST).

“I’m tired of trying to make that old hag look like she’s 25,” said a disgusted scalp of brunette. “Unless we get some Herbal Essence concessions I’m going to find a soccer mom, or bank teller somewhere and give her a silky sheen until retirement.”

“If she comes at me with that Paul Mithchell Aerosol hairspray one more time, I swear”, the hair added.