~ANCIENT JOURNAL OF TIMATHAYUS, YOUTH PASTOR, 40 AD! UNCOVERED

A portion of an ancient journal uncovered in Greece was apparently kept by a wild and crazy youth pastor from around 40 AD, scientists announced today.

"While much remains to be learned from this important document, one thing does remain clear. This young man was a rascal. Insuppresible for sure."

Archaologists made the discovery while working to unearth a tell in Northeastern Greece. The torn edge of the parchment was found rolled up inside some goat skin...believed to be an early, primitive hacky-sack.

"Unfortunately the majority of the journal has been lost to antiquity," reported Dr. Silas Pierce, the lead achaeologist on the expedition. "But we feel very privileged to uncover the portion we did."


What follows is the translation from Koine Greek to English of what was written on that ancient parchment so many years ago:


Today we had a Chariot Wash to raise shekels for our mission's trip to Corinth. This one Roman Centurion dude was real picky and demanded that we make his wheels extra shiny. "As bright as the Emperor's devotion to his people, Christian scum!" I almost didn't share Christ with him because I wanted him to go to hell so bad.
I can't wait for Paul and Barnabas to get here! They're the coolest Chistians a lion will ever eat!!
Yeah!! Woow!!

Many in the scientific and youth ministry community are blown away by the find.
"The energy, the focus...the passion! I wonder if it's too late to make this into a book of the Bible. Kinda like Philemon or Titus or something, ya know? He's so rad" commented youth pastor Fish. (no last name given)