~CHICKEN McNUGGETS DECLARE: "STILL GOT IT!"

Chicken McNuggets, the famed crunchy-on-the-outside, tender-on-the-inside food item from McDonald's, announced Friday that he still had it.

"I still got it!", the McNuggets announced loudly to other members of the McDonald's food family at a south street location in Rutland after a little 5 year old girl consumed her portion with almost crazed delight.

"Did you see that kid's face light up? I'm just that good."

"If food could be celebrities," the McNuggets went on, "I'd be Tom Cruise's and Oprah Winfrey's love child...Paparazzi be gettin' tendonitis and stuff from taking so many pictures. Ye-uh Boyyyz."

The self-adulation was met with some muffled grumbling from the Egg McMuffin. "Whoa, what was that 'breakfast menu'?" the McNuggets countered.

"Something you wanna say??"

"You heard me," the mcMuffin suddenly shot back. "You're just a flash in the pan, smoke and mirrors treat. You think you feed this nation? No little friend. You-do-not-feed-this-nation. Hashbrowns and I do more just from 7 to 11 am to keep this country running then you do all day."

"Flash in the pan??? What? Do I look like a Happy Meal to you?" McNuggets sputtered. "Lick me...Lick me, son!! Do I taste like a Shamrock Shake to you?!!" He said before huffing off in a rage.

"Yeah? Come back here and finish what you started," The McMuffin called after him.

"What are ya'? Chicken? hahahaha."

"This is pretty commonplace behavior," reported the venerable french fries. "All products like to feel valued and unique within the menu with some trying harder than others to assert their dominance. Doesn't affect me too much anymore but I do worry about the psychological effects it might have on a little guy like McGriddle. Creates a lot of pressure out there."

Meanwhile, back in the prep area, McNuggets was recounting his magical experience to the quarter-pounder and 20 oz. Diet coke when the sandwhich lost his usual cool and snapped at the chicken treat. "You know what man?", the quarter-pounder stated as he melted a piece of cheese on his all-beef patty in anger. "You strut around here, talking game like you're a freakin’ Wendy's Frosty or something. But at the end of the day esay, you're just a deep fried bunch of mixed-up chicken parts."

"How does it feel, homes?", he went on. "How does it feel to need 3 kinds of sauces just to make your ass edible?"

"Yeah! Suck my straw!" yelled the Diet coke in agreement, condensation forming on her outside.

McNuggets then erupted into a furor, threatening to toss the quarter-pounder into the shake machine and make him a "one-sixteenth pounder" forcing foods to take sides, poultry against beef, and pitting soft serve against McFlurry.

"Things were looking pretty grim," reported the cup of coffee, whose contents are extremely hot, "but then he stepped in."

"Hey!!", shouted the Big Mac angrily and with authority as he cast his shadow over the other food items. "What the frig is going on here? Ya'll be trippin'... acting like this is White Castle or something. Pull yourself together. We've got a bus-load of sightseers coming in here in a second and then it's show time."

The shamed items looked at the ground in self-loathing quiet. After sighing deeply the Big Mac continued: "Chicken McNuggets, no one doubts that you are truly talented at the dipping treat thing you do. But you've got to respect the 9 to 5 workhorses like the Big n' Tasty too. It's all about teamwork here. You don't get over 1 billion served by highlighting your differences."

Everyone nodded or voiced their agreement and sheepishly slapped each other on the back.

"Now, everyone, snap to it and let's feed these fatsos." The Big Mac then shot a knowing look to the french fries who smiled back before plunging into the frier.

"I think it's funny when that stuff happens. It really livens up the day" reported the apple pie wedge.

"I agree", offered the McChicken sandwhich. "I'm lovin' it."