Thursday

~RED HYMNAL HATES THE BLUE HYMNAL


Sources inside the Freedom In Christ Presbyterian Church of Fayettville announced that the bitter feud between the red and blue hymnals in the church pews has reached a fevered pitch.

“Yeah, I hate that blue hymnal,” said the older, more-worn red hymnal to reporters on Saturday. “Ever since Vera (Flynn) died and her family bought that set to honor her I get no action…except on Easter when they need to sing Up From The Grave He Arose. I was here back when Eisenhower was President!”

“That’s total bull-@#%$”, the red hymnal added. “And don’t even get me started on that stapled-together chorus sheet little whippersnapper. It’s always Shout to the North this or Heart of Worship that with him. What about the Old Rugged Cross, hmm? HMM?…pagans.”

The red hymnal went on to explain that she also thinks the blue hymnal and chorus pamphlet have plans to eventually wipe her out altogether and have her placed in old banana boxes next to the furnace in the room off of the nursery.

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