~Civil War Buff “Advances” on Local Pharmacy

Sources close to self-proclaimed Civil War buff, William Ives, reported that the 55 year old successfully advanced on the local Rite Aid pharmacy Wednesday morning for much needed sun block and anti-histamine supplies.
Ives awoke early Wednesday morning to a forecast of sunny skies with highs in the upper 80’s. Sensing a threat to the un-burnt skin and clear sinuses he holds so dear, Ives made the bold decision to raid the Rite Aid at first light before the enemy had a chance to rise high into the sky, releasing pollen into the air and before it could quote, “burn up my men like so much straw in a barn blaze.”
The decision for the strike was not come to quickly or lightly. Ives reportedly retired to his parlor to pace back and forth, sip a glass of brandy and smoke a cigar while the decision of whether to attack or not weighed heavily on his soul. Finally he emerged resolutely from the parlor and announced firmly and evenly to his dog, Ulysses, to gather his things. It was “time.”
Then he checked underneath the bathroom sink to make sure the Banana Boat tube of SPF 15 sunscreen was actually empty.
Ives authoritatively strode into the kitchen, grabbed his wife’s “Precious Moments” note pad and proceeded to write her a note:
“My darling, sweetest Molly,” the note read. “I can still feel your touch on my brow and your soft kiss planted on my cheek. I am off to do war…a thing which makes my heart thump, my pulse quicken like a roaring river in spring, my senses to sharpen like a thousand needles pressed into my thigh and my will and desire for honor to strengthen. War…a thing that does all of this as a mere fraction of the way you do it.
Give Robert my love. Tell him to always mind you.”

Then whistling for Ulysses he got in his truck and headed downtown towards the Rite Aid, stopping only briefly at Silas’s Smart Shop for some “rations”.
“Good, good. Eat up boys,” Ives said as he hand fed his Golden Retriever some Hawaiian popcorn, “you’ll need your strength, especially after such a harsh winter.”

Finally reaching the Rite Aid parking lot, Ives parked under a giant oak, the biggest one for miles, so he would be sure to remember how to find his vehicle if he became “disoriented by the haze of battle and hopelessly lost.” He left Ulysses to guard camp and then he proceeded on foot to “reconnoiter” the shopping plaza.
As soon as the Pharmacist unlocked the front doors and brought in the morning newspapers from the sidewalk, Ives burst in, face flushed, Visa outstretched.
“Coppertone?” He asked the startled pharmacist in a steely monotone. Grabbing the bottle of sun block and quickly snagging his wife’s preferred brand of anti-histamine medicine, Ives rushed to the counter, flung his purchases down and then carefully eyed the windows, door and tall brush. “Here, this too,” Ives said as he placed some twizzlers and a doggie treat on the countertop.
Transaction completed, Ives smiled his wily smile and ducked back out the door, with his troops' desperately-needed supplies placed carefully in a brown paper bag and tucked securely under his arm. With “Ive’s Raid” now a part of history he ran back to Oak Tree Camp, jumped back into his truck and sped back north on the highway.
“We done it boys!”, He shouted to Ulysses as he scratched him behind the ears and gave him his treat. “We done did it.”