~Local Man Saved from Encounter with Mentally Handicapped Person

Local video consultant and McDonald's patron Peter Betrand was miraculously saved from an encounter with local handicapped McDonald's employee Robby Gates inside the South Main st McDonald's men's room on Wednesday.
"I was in the toilet stall relieving myself when suddenly I heard that guy who made my shake come in saying that it was time for his 'chocolate milk to look like lemonade, chocolate milk to look like lemonade'. I smiled to myself thinking he just needed to use the urinal, but that smile turned into full-on, dropped-jaw, furrowed-brow shock when I heard him trying my stall door and trying it hard."
Betrand then decided to utter the ageless and universal "someone's in here". An offering that went apparently unheard and unheeded. "That's when he started to really yank away on the door. I mean he was really giving it hell. The walls around me were shaking and all I could say was 'whoa whoa whoa' but i guess the acoustics in there weren't very good and he was undeterred."

The married father of 3 then took a deep breath and deliberately tried one more time-

"Someone's in here!"

"That's been working for years. You don't have to be a Navajo windtalker to crack that code. They know about that way the heck out in Alpha Centauri. It means back off and hold up a second, Bro."

His second attempt was returned with some heavy breathing and "stuck stuck, out of luck, stuck stuck, out of luck". All hope seemed to be lost when Betrand saw Robby get on his knees, witnessed his McDonald's visor fall to the floor and realized that the part-time, government subsidized employee and lover of McFlurries was preparing a ground assault by sliding under the partition.

"I had grabbed a roll of toilet paper and was ready to try and repulse his advances when suddenly...out in the bathroom...by this sinks...I heard the calvary coming."

"Hey Retard", said the voice, whose identity is not known, "don't you get it? Someone's using that crapper."

There was a brief silence. Then the man said in a sterner, louder tone: "You want fries with that, Corky?...Someone's in there."

Gates, after a shorter silence, then reportedly said "Ohhhhhkay! That's Great! Have a good day!!", stood back up and left without making his lemonade.

"I was so relieved, hugging my shoulders and taking in so many short, panicked breaths," said a visibly shaken Betrand in the parking lot of Rutland's first McDonald's "that I never got to say thank you to that man. His precision strike and devotion to society is truly admirable. We should all endeavor to be his type of citizen."

"He was a McHero today"