~EARTH TO BE REMEMBERED FOR THE PHRASE "GO F*CK YOURSELF"

The UN released today its ruling on the much anticipated "End of the World" contingency plan. The plan states that if an alien force ever comes to Earth, scorching its skies, salting its soil and systematically exterminating the human race that the final human soul is supposed to say to the alien leader, "Go f*ck yourself".

"We're pretty pleased with the results," said UN Secretary General Kofi Annan. "We floated a lot of different ideas, phrases and euphemisms but at the end of the day we all pretty much felt like 'go f*ck yourself' really summed it up best."

"It was the first time I'd ever seen the Jews and Palestinians ever completely agree on something," Annan added.

The Secretary General then went on to ask that all human beings familiarize themselves with the phrase and to be prepared to use it should they be the one dragged aboard the alien's imperial spacecraft and asked what they had to say in defense of their now extinct species in front of the supreme alien leader.

Representatives from all 198 nations attended the summit in Rome and all brought their own ideas for what Earth's final verbal blaze of glory should be.

The summit's most dramatic moment came when the French contingent stormed out of the talks after their suggestion of "Thank you for freeing me from my Earthly cage, Oh great and glorious master, How may I now serve you" didn't make the final round.

Many were also surprised that the USA, birthplace of the phrase, didn't initially support the statement.

"You might think that America would've wanted local boy 'go f*ck yourself' to be there at the very end of human existence" said Vice President Dick Cheney to reporters earlier this morning. "But there was also some pretty strong support for 'Make my day',

'You want of a piece of me?', and

'phone home this' while giving the aliens the finger. Also the President was strongly in support of 'Don't mess with Texas.'"

But the pivotal and deciding moment for all nations came during a pageant put on by the GFY contingent. On an elaborate set depicting the evil aliens' spaceship, with many costumed aliens looking on, a small Cambodian peasant boy was dragged before their villainous Emperor.

"We found him among the charred remains of one of their Rainforests, master", one of the guards told the alien leader. "Our scanners show that he is the last survivor."

"I see. You've pleased me greatly Gorlok. You will be rewarded handsomely," Emperor Barnok grumbled deeply as he turned his attention to the bleeding, broken boy. "Before I vaporize you, Earthling scum, and wipe your species from the universe forever, is there anything you have to say for your people, of whom you are the last one ever?"

The Boy, struggling, raised himself up on one elbow, and strained his neck to make eye-contact with the extra-terrestrial. Summoning all of his strength the boy spat at his feet and said with venom, "Go f*ck yourself, b*tch." The Aliens then erupted in a fiery furor, squealing loudly and waving their tenticals wildly before they liquified the slyly smiling human boy.

All in attendence sat in stunned, tearful silence before breaking into loud, crazed applause. "He was right", shouted Mexican President Vicente Fox to Russian President Vladimir Putin over the din of applause. "That guy was a b*tch."

Annan said that this conference was necesarry because "many humans might be tempted to say something that would not properly represent the entire species" and that quote, "we couldn't guarantee that Will Smith would be the last human alive."

When reached for comment the Pope reportedly shrugged his shoulders and said "I think that's about right."