~TSUNAMI VICTIM RECEIVES "ENTERTAINMENT" COUPON BOOK IN BOX OF DONATIONS

Rohalla Togala lost his home, possessions and entire family when the deadly Tsunami ravaged his island last year. But he lost even more when he received a box of donations from the USA this week - his dignity.

"Buy 25 munchkins at any participating Dunkin Donuts and get another 25 munchkins for 50% off?? Say what? What the heez?? Is this some kind of cruel joke?", asked Togala as he squatted behind some rusted oil barrels, hiding, so other islanders wouldn't kill him for his box.

"Sbarro? What?!?", the now-boatless fisherman added with a furrowed brow.

The coupon book began its journey to the Indian Ocean at a church event in Des Moines to raise support for the victims of December's devastating tsunami. The book travelled by train, plane, truck, boat and helicopter along with clothing, canned goods, clean water and medicine. Once it had reached Indonesia it was randomly sorted into a box to be delivered to survivors. The book contains valuable "50% off" coupons in it for many restaurants, movie theatres, boutiques, hotels, amusement parks and grocery stores...none of which can be found in or near Togala's island or surrounding archipalaegos.

"Yeah, I remember seeing that book," reported USAid worker Joanne Smart. "I thought hey... Toilet paper is toilet "anything" round here."

"Wasn't that Entertainment coupon book for 1999 anyway?", chipped in a Red Cross volunteer.

Meanwhile, back on the island, Togala was searching his soul and the heavens for an explanation:

"Why, Oh Jimbutu?", He addressed his ancestral god. "Why was I offered a complimentary whopper junior when I purchase another whopper junior of equal or greater value at the downtown Camp Rd. Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa???"

"And PopSecret microwave popcorn?", The animated man continued as he further rifled through the box. "Yes, American...I will pop this in my shiny samsung microwave and eat it while watching Harry Potter on DVD!" he lamented sarcastically as he slammed both fists into the ground in inarticulate grief. "I will plant these kernels and grow a magical popcorn tree with which I will climb into the heavens and away from all this disease and famine!"

Togala then curled up in his box and slept.