~Grocery Store Shopper 4 Items Over Limit Tells Express Lane Cashier: "Just Do It."

Personal financial planner Mark Hogan told Hannaford grocery store express lane cashier Lisa Falkert to "just do it" after she raised concerns about his being 4 items over the 10 item limit, Tuesday afternoon.

"Just take my package of tofu and slide it over your little thingy and make it beep," Hogan coached Falkert. "It's just like petting a dog. Who's a good girl? You're a good girl. Now check me out of here."

When Falkert, a high school drop-out and mother of 3, expressed further concern at the abuse of the express lane code of conduct saying that "14 items was pushing it", Hogan had to rachet up his attempts.

"Listen, when you drive your Ford Tempo home later and are watching Judging Amy in your Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore nightshirt, eating Oreos and yelling at your kids to shut the hell up you'll actually have something to feel good about...helping me get out of here quickly so I can get my Volvo to the Bose audio installer before they close," Hogan told her as he handed her a package of alfalfa sprouts hoping it would encourage her feelings of being downtrodden, resigned and defeated.

Suddenly, Jim Brock, a local landscaper sympathetic to the blue collar uttered a "C'mon Buddy."

Before he or anyone else could fire the "She's just doing her job" bomb, Hogan, a former polo star at Yale, wheeled around quickly and told the 7 people behind him "No one try to be a hero." Adjusting his Italian leather belt and taking time to look everyone in the eye, Hogan licked his lips and then returned his attention to Falkert.

"No. You don't want to do that," He told the 23 year old blonde girl with permed hair as she reached for her microphone in order to call a manager. "I forbid you to do that. That would be a mistake." Grabbing the bottle of Centrum vitamins off the conveyor he shook it to get her attention.

"My wife just had plastic surgery and the Doctor said that to keep her immune system strong she needs to take a full regimine of B complex vitamins with plenty of zinc." He adjusted his glasses in order to look her in the eye over the top of his rims. "If you kill my wife I swear to God."

"Hey!" he snapped as several customers behind him audibly sighed with disgust.

When he turned back around again he noticed that Falkert had flicked her switch and her light was blinking to attract the attention of the floor manager.

"For the love of Mike," Hogan said in contempt closing his eyes. Then in a whisper poisoned with venom, "I'll give you 10 bucks."

"20", she quickly responded reaching for his salmon steak.

"Okay" *pause* "....$20.00" he said clicking his Oxfords impatiently on the ground.

"Is there a problem here?," Scott Messner, the floor manager on duty asked as he approached the check-out.

"No sir. I hit the switch by accident when I was reaching for this gentleman's organic Canadian yogurt. There's no problem here. Nothing."

"You don't need quarters or coupon bags or a police escort for this man?"

"No Sir....everything is as it should be. But I need to take my cigarette break soon and I need next Wednesday off because Ray has his court date then and I need to give him a ride."