~THOMAS STILL NEEDS MORE PROOF THAT HE'S ACTUALLY IN HEAVEN

Famed doubter and apostle, Thomas, still "cannot
believe" that he's in heaven, several exasperated
sources reported Friday.

"He just always has this skeptical look on his face",
reported Moses. "I mean we'll hit him over the head
with a sack of gold and rubies and he still acts like
this is some Folger's Crystals commercial or
something."

Moses added that he hasn't seen anyone this phased by
heaven since Stephen first arrived and had to "walk
off" that stoning.